Poetic Introduction
The ones you depend, the ones who holds a special place within
The ones you trust even out of sight, the ones you roll with wrong or right
The ones you share the deepest depths of your soul
The ones that make this cold world a little less cold
The ones you grew with and learned about life
The ones that stuck with you through strict and strife
The ones that may not be blood but they are a chosen few
The ones that you bring out the best in and they bring it out of you
The ones that taught you tough love, they deserve honorable mention
The ones that show you the light after dark, they helped with your ascension
The ones that showed you that you can separate from what means you no good
The ones giving new meaning to family, while creating a brother or sisterhood
The ones that there is NEVER a need to fake or pretend
Them real ones, it's good to have genuine lovers and friends
Affirmations
"It's okay to say NO"
"Being agreeable isn't ideal, I assert my ideas, beliefs and boundaries"
"I accept no less than what I deserve"
"Those who love me will respect my boundaries"
"I am grateful for my loved ones"
"I support my loved ones"
"I give and want to receive unconditional love"
"I am worthy of the loyalty I give"
"I encourage the best in my loved ones"
"I am safe and accepted by my loved ones, I want them to feel the same"
Familial Love | Noun| - a type of love often directed at family members, whether biological, adoptive, external, or chosen.
How to Maintain Healthy Relationships
Set Boundaries
End Unhealthy relationships
Reassure and reaffirm their place in your life
Have open and direct communication
Create a safe space to vent and problem solve
Address conflict and resolute
Family or Foe?
There is a saying "those you keep close can hurt you the most" and let's be honest, we've all been on the receiving end of understanding just how much. A stranger would never have the trust or knowledge of you enough to get close and inflict damage. Hurt people hurt people and this think piece isn't to blame but to inform.
People that come from your same circumstance does not come from your same heart. That assumption creates trauma bonds that make you think that they are in your corner. Most people, family or otherwise are for themselves and will only think of others if it's beneficial. It doesn't make them a bad person, it just makes for an one sided experience.
Family is the first matrix that many have to break out of and probably the hardest. Many have horror stories about family and stick around because of that word "family". But based on the definition provided earlier family can be a list of things and shouldn't be minimized to relation. It is ideal to have that Brady Bunch, Family Matters type of dynamic but in 2024 we have to be realistic.
People are not perfect but we are entitled to our preference. It is okay to prefer not to deal with the family/lovers that have misused and abused you. It's okay to prefer not to have to continually settle for less love then you deserve. Let's face it those that can't love themselves properly probably will mishandle loving you.
Never give someone power over your decisions and responses to being mishandled.
Simply remove those people and make room for the abundance of love that you will receive from those assigned to your life. Stop harboring old emotion by adding a new mindset and setting those expectations free.
Toxic Love Traits
Jealousy
Gaslighting
Lack Accountability
Controlling
Hostility
Make you feel like you have to walk on eggshells
Avoids Conflict
Negative
Dishonest
Lacks loyalty
Manipulative
Abuses your trust
Lack of support
When people show you who they are, believe them the first time -Maya Angelou
Final Thoughts
Expect people to be who they are
Remove those that don't align in your life
Set boundaries and enforce them
Family are those that you choose
Self love will increase your views on familial love
Never settle for less than the love you give
Avoid those that exhibit toxic love
If they don't support you, don't support the relationship
Honesty is key
No negativity allowed!
Peace and Love
XOXO
Lotus
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